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Spielberg Unearths ‘Indy’ 4
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I love the Indiana Jones movies. They’re a perfect trilogy. The scene at the end of ‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,’ where Indy rides off into the sunset after finally having found the Holy Grail is the perfect ending. Director Steven Spielberg thinks so, too.
"I shot Indiana Jones riding a horse into the sunset because I thought that brought the curtain down on the story," he said at a press conference on Tuesday. For ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.’ The fourth one. What the heck happened?
Harrison Ford happened. That’s what. After presenting Spielberg with the Oscar for ‘Schindler’s List,’ the star pushed to pick up Indy’s whip again.
Has Spielberg never heard the word “no?” If Liam Neeson called and said, “Hey, let’s do ‘Schindler’s List 2,’ would he just nod and start rolling?
I’ll see the new one. Under protest. I know it’s going to stink. And I don’t mean stink a little like ‘Temple of Doom’ because the lead actress can’t act. I mean stink royally. Because they’ve got big expectations to live up to. So they’re going to CGI the heck out of this thing. There will be huge set pieces, things falling down and crashing everywhere, elaborate traps set by ancient peoples waiting for Indy to trip them. The film is going to be so big, it will implode.
One good thing they’ve done is to put Karen Allen back in as Indy’s love interest Marion Ravenwood. I hate it when Hollywood tries to pair up some starlet who’s barely out of her teens with an old relic.
They’ve also added a less irritating sidekick than Short Round. (You forget how irritating ‘Temple’ is.) Shia LaBeouf plays Indy’s right hand man this time, and there’s some question as to whether he might be Indy and Marion’s son. Cate Blanchett also takes a shot at being the bad guy, so that should be fun, too.
Still, with all of these elements going for it, the film is bound to disappoint. You can feel it. It’s in the humorless trailer that moves so fast you can’t tell what’s going on. It’s in the early release date, conveniently positioned before the big summer blockbusters. And it’s especially in the way George Lucas subtly tries to lower expectations every time he talks about the movie.
Oh, Doctor Jones. I’ll be there when you return. But why couldn’t you have left me with my fond memories?
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