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‘Indiana’ Fails To Satisfy Jones
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The ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’ premiere in Cannes proves once again that George Lucas doesn’t know when to quit. This flick does for Indy what Jar Jar Binks did for ‘Star Wars.’
Not that he didn’t warn us.
"You probably have fond memories of the other movies. But if you went back and looked at them, they might not hold up the same way your memory holds up," Lucas told Variety. "You're not going to get a lot of accolades doing a movie like this. All you can do is lose."
Especially if you lose sight of what made the other films great. The mix of action and humor.
The film is, indeed, chock-a-block with action sequences. Tumbling over waterfalls, swinging through the jungle, giant ants, mushroom clouds, spaceships, extraterrestrials... You name it. Lucas throws it at Indy.
But aside from a few initial jokes about his advanced age, the film quickly morphs into just another soulless adventure movie. The middle in particular drags with endless exposition. Harrison Ford is the only actor who gets much to show off his chops. The others are underused.
Cate Blanchett, as a diabolical Soviet spy who’s won the Order of Lenin three times, has all the depth of a James Bond villain. Karen Allen, who plays Jones’ long-lost love Marion Ravenwood, is grating. Marion and Indy begin arguing incessantly the second she comes onscreen. Even the characters in the movie can’t stand it. One Soviet atheist pleads, “For the love of God, shut the hell up.”
Then there’s Shia LeBeouf in a thankless role as a 1950’s style greaser who may possibly be Indy’s son. He doesn’t seem comfortable either in his leather jacket or his role as young action hero.
It’s unusual for a Spielberg movie to be such a desert of character and fun. It’s like he’s MIA, acting only as Lucas’ technician rather than collaborator.
The action, too, while plentiful, lacks something. A sense of danger. The one essential of any adventure movie, even when it’s over the top, is that the characters at least think they’re in trouble. You never get that here.
Plus, Spielberg and Lucas didn’t quite hold to their promise to lay off the CGI. The effects on the film are first-rate, (Who’d expect anything less?), but the filmmakers either felt competitive pressure to do it up big (especially the finale), or they just got carried away with the toy box. Not that big, splashy set pieces are a problem. But it would have been nice for them to get carried away with some of the less techie aspects, too.
Like the writing. There were rumored scads of screenwriters employed on the project over the past 19 years. All of those different cooks seem to have turned the film into a very bland soup. Or maybe it was a bad idea to move Indy out of mythology and into science fiction. Something here just doesn’t work.
Not that it will affect box office. A film with this kind of anticipation is sure to make money. Lots of it. Which will probably fuel other lackluster sequels. Sigh.
Be on the lookout for ‘Indian Jones: Episode V’ next summer.
