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Ashlee In Wonderland
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The theme of Ashlee Simpson’s wedding was ‘Alice in Wonderland.’ How terribly appropriate. This mad tea party is the kind of thing you usually find after falling down a rabbit hole.
Daddy Joe performed the ceremony. Fading star sister Jessica Simpson was the maid of honor. Pete Wentz’s dog was ring bearer. The only thing missing was a hookah-smoking caterpillar.
Interesting how Papa came around so quickly after all allegedly not letting Wentz in the house. But I guess if my next big reality TV deal depended on my daughter and her boyfriend getting married, I’d make sure the knot was tied good and tight myself, too.
Then there are those rumors that Ashlee’s teapot-topped wedding cake wasn’t the only thing in the oven on Saturday. Little Miss Obsessive just might be Little Miss Obstetrics. That could have been a problem among Ashlee’s fans. Or rather among her fans’ parents.
Moms and dads feel safe allowing their impressionable little tykes to listen to her music because she’s a harmless step above the Sippy Cups. It’s rebellion neatly packaged and polished to a squeaky-clean shimmer.
So no matter how progressive and accepting Hollywood might be, there is no way in heck Joe is going to let his sweet little cash cow have a child outside the sacred bonds of matrimony. Cultivating a rebellious image is one thing, actually doing something rebellious is quite another.
