Time Names 100 Most Influential

• by Stephen Lovekin more photos
• Actor Robert Downey Jr. and father Robert Downey Sr. arrive at TIME's 100 Most Influential...

We are fascinated with lists. Every publication has one. Most Beautiful. Sexiest. Richest. Most Innovative. But no matter what you call it, it’s always the same list.

This time, they’re under the heading of Time’s 100 Most Influential People. The magazine had the requisite announcement gala in New York on Tuesday.

Granted, Time does go a bit further than others. There are world figures like the Dalai Lama and CEOs like PepsiCo’s Indra Nooyi who didn’t make People’s Most Beautiful because they don’t photograph well with mist on their cleavage.

Time also makes an effort to provide an intellectual rationale for its choices and to spread the usual suspects among different categories. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Oprah Winfrey for example, are listed under “Heroes and Pioneers” rather than “Artists and Entertainers.”

Radiohead, too, is listed under “Builders and Titans” because of the experimental “pay any price” online release of “In Rainbows.” Innovative, yes. But titanic? Aren’t we stretching things a wee bit?

Something else Time does to distinguish its list from others is to have people whose influence wasn’t strong enough to make the list write blurbs for their more influential compadres:

Jerry Seinfeld on Chris Rock: “His instinct is to always reach for the hottest rivet in the bucket -— bare-handed, of course -—then jam it while it's still glowing right into the girder hole where it belongs.”

Stevie Wonder on Mariah Carey: “I think Mariah has enjoyed such success at 38 because she's a good person; her heart is good. I love her spirit.”

Ben Stiller on Robert Downey, Jr.: “In the realm where box office is irrelevant and talent is king, the realm that actually means something, he has always ruled.”

T.D. Jakes on Tyler Perry: “His process is as unorthodox as Grandma's recipes; he stirs up new menus of theatrical delights for those who enjoy home-cooked cuisine rather than culinary classics!”

And my personal favorite, Donny Osmond on Miley Cyrus: “Her challenge will be overcoming the Hannah Montana stereotype. Miley's fans are not thinking about the fact that she will grow up too. As she does, she'll want to change her image, and that change will be met with adversity. It's next to impossible to fight, embrace, use or love your image. Trust me. I've seen this all play out before; it's the same ball game, just different players in a different time.”

Did it just get chilly in here? But come on, Time. Miley Cyrus on the same list with Vladimir Putin? Justify it any way you like, but it’s clear what the real criteria for this list is: Who’s gonna move the magazines off the rack.